Identity

Living in latin culture as a white girl and returning to Virginia causes me to be more aware of how I am perceived.

In Honduras, there are often jokes made about other latin countries, much in the same way that States will mock the people from other States. However, if I were to, now, repeat a joke I heard in Honduras about Mexicans, it wouldn't be funny, it would be racist. I would just me a stuck up, privileged white girl.

When I meet people who's English is struggling, and appear to be Hispanic, I want to practice my Spanish with them. But, I fear I'll just insult them by pointing out that their English isn't perfect, or in assuming that they're happier speaking Spanish. Not everyone wants to talk about where they came from.

At work, a family came in. Two parents, two kids. One of the kids could have easily been a native to Guatemala or Honduras. He had all the facial features I've become so comfortable around. I wanted to ask, but there's no way to do that. One, I'd have to assume he's their adopted son, which I don't really know what relationship he has to the rest of the family. Two, I'd just be another person pointing out that he's different, which he doesn't need.

I suppose with situations like these, I'm just going to have to bide my time. With people I don't know well, if I try to come in and assert myself, I'll only ever come off as...something I don't want to come off as. If I form a relationship with someone, if I can let them know my experience, then maybe I make my way in as someone who relates. Until then, I'm just a gringa who identifies with latin culture, but isn't identified in the same way.