As I'm no longer in Honduras, and no longer considered a gringa, this blog is pretty much dead. But, as I can't seem to stop myself from writing about the things I do and think about (and for some reason feel the need to share them) you may follow me on:
http://backinthesehereunitedstates.blogspot.com/
Adios!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Identity
Living in latin culture as a white girl and returning to Virginia causes me to be more aware of how I am perceived.
In Honduras, there are often jokes made about other latin countries, much in the same way that States will mock the people from other States. However, if I were to, now, repeat a joke I heard in Honduras about Mexicans, it wouldn't be funny, it would be racist. I would just me a stuck up, privileged white girl.
When I meet people who's English is struggling, and appear to be Hispanic, I want to practice my Spanish with them. But, I fear I'll just insult them by pointing out that their English isn't perfect, or in assuming that they're happier speaking Spanish. Not everyone wants to talk about where they came from.
At work, a family came in. Two parents, two kids. One of the kids could have easily been a native to Guatemala or Honduras. He had all the facial features I've become so comfortable around. I wanted to ask, but there's no way to do that. One, I'd have to assume he's their adopted son, which I don't really know what relationship he has to the rest of the family. Two, I'd just be another person pointing out that he's different, which he doesn't need.
I suppose with situations like these, I'm just going to have to bide my time. With people I don't know well, if I try to come in and assert myself, I'll only ever come off as...something I don't want to come off as. If I form a relationship with someone, if I can let them know my experience, then maybe I make my way in as someone who relates. Until then, I'm just a gringa who identifies with latin culture, but isn't identified in the same way.
In Honduras, there are often jokes made about other latin countries, much in the same way that States will mock the people from other States. However, if I were to, now, repeat a joke I heard in Honduras about Mexicans, it wouldn't be funny, it would be racist. I would just me a stuck up, privileged white girl.
When I meet people who's English is struggling, and appear to be Hispanic, I want to practice my Spanish with them. But, I fear I'll just insult them by pointing out that their English isn't perfect, or in assuming that they're happier speaking Spanish. Not everyone wants to talk about where they came from.
At work, a family came in. Two parents, two kids. One of the kids could have easily been a native to Guatemala or Honduras. He had all the facial features I've become so comfortable around. I wanted to ask, but there's no way to do that. One, I'd have to assume he's their adopted son, which I don't really know what relationship he has to the rest of the family. Two, I'd just be another person pointing out that he's different, which he doesn't need.
I suppose with situations like these, I'm just going to have to bide my time. With people I don't know well, if I try to come in and assert myself, I'll only ever come off as...something I don't want to come off as. If I form a relationship with someone, if I can let them know my experience, then maybe I make my way in as someone who relates. Until then, I'm just a gringa who identifies with latin culture, but isn't identified in the same way.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I'm Still a Gringa
The trouble is, most people don't know it anymore. I've been back just over a month and am still working on the adjustment. It usually manifests in really small things. When I stay around the house, I feel fine, but when I go out into the world, I feel myself drained and often overwhelmed. The design of stores, the constant push, the colors, the repetition. Little things in how people behave.
Of course, not everything has been difficult. I do enjoy not washing my laundry in the shower. I enjoy being lazy with my dishes. I enjoy that if something is left out it's not covered in ants within a couple of hours. There was something therapeutic about having to stay on top of those chores though. About needing to take the time to get them done.
Seeing people I haven't gotten to see in aeons has been great. Keeping busy keeps my mind off of the things I miss most. Much like when I left here, it's still the people. But there's a lot in the way of life that sticks out to me, or I just don't fit into as comfortably as I once did.
I'm no longer exotic. That combined with the fact that men here are trained out of staring, causes me to notice that I'm no longer the center of attention. On the one hand, it's a relief, but at the same time, I'd gotten used to getting looks all the time. It's just one more change.
Every time someone says "idiot" or "stupid" I have to tell myself, as I explained to my students while reading Matilda to them, that these words are not as strong in English as they are in Spanish (though, they are still not to be used when talking about another person, boys and girls). I was so trained out of saying them casually.
Small talk, especially now that I have a job and don't know anyone that I'm working with, has been a big adjustment. For the last two years, either I was working in my second language, so we cut to the point, or they were, and we cut to the point. Most of the Americans I knew seemed to be in the same mindset, so there was very little small talk. Gossip was abound. But there was rarely any lead up in conversations. I've found myself being more forward with what I have to say than most of the people around me are used to.
Then, of course, there's money. I have a job now. I'm working behind a register in a well established bar-b-que restaurant. I'm working 20-25 hours a week, which is less than half what I worked in Honduras, including my prep time, and I'm making more than twice as much. Of course, everything is more expensive. And now I'm driving everywhere, which is a huge change in and of itself, but also sucks down money. Getting together with friends is almost impossible without dropping a substantial amount of money.
The only things I can find to do that are free involve walking around in the heat, which is still not an issue to me (though, I'm slowly getting used to AC), but it's rather uncomfortable to others. Walking is something I miss too. The act of walking to a destination. Driving everywhere makes me feel so cut off from the people around me.
Not that I'm currently living in a big place, but compared to Copan and Farmville (self explanatory), it feels huge to me. I can no longer wander into any store, any coffee shop, any bar, and know the people there. That, and there are more options. It's hard to become a regular anywhere, because it just depends on where you are in town. Here, things can be out of the way. I think I really need to establish myself as a regular in a few different places. Just so I can feel known again. So that I can have familiar faces.
Of course, not everything has been difficult. I do enjoy not washing my laundry in the shower. I enjoy being lazy with my dishes. I enjoy that if something is left out it's not covered in ants within a couple of hours. There was something therapeutic about having to stay on top of those chores though. About needing to take the time to get them done.
Seeing people I haven't gotten to see in aeons has been great. Keeping busy keeps my mind off of the things I miss most. Much like when I left here, it's still the people. But there's a lot in the way of life that sticks out to me, or I just don't fit into as comfortably as I once did.
I'm no longer exotic. That combined with the fact that men here are trained out of staring, causes me to notice that I'm no longer the center of attention. On the one hand, it's a relief, but at the same time, I'd gotten used to getting looks all the time. It's just one more change.
Every time someone says "idiot" or "stupid" I have to tell myself, as I explained to my students while reading Matilda to them, that these words are not as strong in English as they are in Spanish (though, they are still not to be used when talking about another person, boys and girls). I was so trained out of saying them casually.
Small talk, especially now that I have a job and don't know anyone that I'm working with, has been a big adjustment. For the last two years, either I was working in my second language, so we cut to the point, or they were, and we cut to the point. Most of the Americans I knew seemed to be in the same mindset, so there was very little small talk. Gossip was abound. But there was rarely any lead up in conversations. I've found myself being more forward with what I have to say than most of the people around me are used to.
Then, of course, there's money. I have a job now. I'm working behind a register in a well established bar-b-que restaurant. I'm working 20-25 hours a week, which is less than half what I worked in Honduras, including my prep time, and I'm making more than twice as much. Of course, everything is more expensive. And now I'm driving everywhere, which is a huge change in and of itself, but also sucks down money. Getting together with friends is almost impossible without dropping a substantial amount of money.
The only things I can find to do that are free involve walking around in the heat, which is still not an issue to me (though, I'm slowly getting used to AC), but it's rather uncomfortable to others. Walking is something I miss too. The act of walking to a destination. Driving everywhere makes me feel so cut off from the people around me.
Not that I'm currently living in a big place, but compared to Copan and Farmville (self explanatory), it feels huge to me. I can no longer wander into any store, any coffee shop, any bar, and know the people there. That, and there are more options. It's hard to become a regular anywhere, because it just depends on where you are in town. Here, things can be out of the way. I think I really need to establish myself as a regular in a few different places. Just so I can feel known again. So that I can have familiar faces.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Not even dealing with culture shock yet..
The last week has been filled with good memories and painful tears. I've spent time with many of the people who came to mean so much to me. I did not get in all the goodbyes I wanted, nor did I go on all my favorite hikes, but my days were full. They usually ended with the painful realization that it was the end and how much I was going to miss it all.
My last day, I was invited to the birthday party of one of my students. I was therefore able to see many of my students again. One student's mother ran up to me and asked when I left, with the intentions to invite me to dinner if I had time (as requested by her son) but alas, there was not. I thanked her for the thought and offer.
The closer I've gotten to my homecoming, the more I've heard from people I have not heard from in a very long time. People who are excited and happy. I've been trying to think of a way to express what it is I'm feeling. People from home is the big thing I'm looking forward to, but that excitement is currently muted by the great feeling of loss.
It's not that I don't know that my friends and family are there for me and love me, it's just overwhelming to realize what I'm leaving behind and how much I love it all. There are the friends that I have made, a few in particular, my students and their families have become family to me, the place itself, my love of mountains is magnified there, the culture, and the growth that I have experienced. There are individuals who have become so important to me that simply the loss of them in my day to day life would set me back for a little while. You put it all together, combined with the feeling of intimidation of what I have yet to figure out and do, that causes me to be where I am.
It's not that I'm going to spend every moment upset and mourning what is lost. In fact, I imagine I will try to mask it most of the time. The fact is, that I've been extremely emotional over it all. I cried all morning. I cried in the car. I cried in the airport. I cried in the airplane. I cried again when I touched town in Atlanta, and again when I stepped foot on America (as we know it). I wasn't crying the whole time, they were usually (except in the house) silent, controlled tears. But I was certainly over taken sometimes. The kind Honduran woman sitting next to me never asked. She was on my next flight, across the isle from me, and I think she was pleased to see I was doing better.
I don't tell you this because I want sympathy, but because I know that most of the people I see will not understand at all that I'm not thrilled to be home. There are things that I look forward to. I know that I will get better with time, maybe even quicker than I think and that like with any form of mourning I will have ups and downs. I tell you because I need someone who realizes what this is to me, that this is a kind of mourning, and I will probably not always be myself. I know it will be fine, and even good. This is a new opportunity for growth. But it will take me some time,so please try to remember that.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Last Day of School and Getting Away
My last day of school was not what I envisioned. I had planned a very relaxed day with a few activities. We'd take the room apart, which we did, and mostly just talk. We did talk a little, but all of my students, and I was too, were a little more reserved than usual because we had an observer.
A young woman who came to Copan to learn Spanish was staying with one of my student's family and they had recommended she come up to observe his last day of school. It wasn't bad, it just made things a little stranger and less sentimental than they would have been.
She didn't come back to the room after recess for the last class, so when I gave them all their folders (I'd already given out their superlatives and recollected them) and we said our goodbyes, she wasn't there.
I made it through about half the hugs before I started crying. It was a sob-fest, like I was afraid it would be, I was just teary. I think they liked to see that I meant it when I said I was going to miss them.
I was also broken up a bit because one of my favorites wasn't there. She missed the last day of school. I was able to send her folder with a friend. We said our last goodbyes yesterday when she came for recoup exams. She passed one and failed the other and I was afraid she would be too upset with me to hug me goodbye, but she fell into me sobbing and told me how much she would miss me and promised that if I came back for one more year she would never be absent from school for the whole year. It broke my heart. She thanked me for always being so good to her.
But before I came back to school, I left for El Salvador. I sent my kids off, and several of them skipped the bus to come back to hang out with me until the secondary bus came. I was touched, but had to tell them I needed to go because I was catching my bus soon. I scurried home, packed, and went to catch the bus.
The bus was an hour late,which was no big deal, and then we took off. All was well until we got to El Salvador. Apparently, El Salvador still believes in the CA-4. They said that what Guatemala and Honduras were doing was wrong. That even though there was no way I could have known I was breaking anyone's law because I had abided by the laws, I still had to pay a fine. We argued, respectfully, gently, and being as understanding to their situation as we could, for an hour. They called their superiors to lower the fine or to remove the fine, but to no avail. Finally, we had to pool our money and pay 114$ for a 5 day you'd-better-sort-your-stuff-out-and-get-out-of-here-quick visa.
After all of this, I was pretty discouraged about my presence on the trip. I spent the next several hours in a rather unhappy place.
However, as soon as we got to where we were going, and met up with the missionaries we were going to meet, I knew that I was in the right place.
I was sick for the whole weekend (presumably the same sickness that has been coming and going for the last who knows how long). But the weekend and the experience and the people and the conversation was amazing.
This was my first time in El Salvador and I saw nothing. We got there and met everyone in a Chinese restaurant (weird, right? Cities have everyting), then we left and went to the church. We spent every waking, eating, and sleeping moment in the church until Sunday afternoon. On Sunday we attended both services, ate lunch, got in a bus, and went to another church for a big event. When the event was over, we got in the bus and went to another church where we slept until it was time to catch our bus back to Copan. We had no troubles at the borders on the way back.
How to explain these 3 days is beyond my abilities. Amazing people, conversation, and fellowship. There was so much joy and fullness of life. Nothing that we talked about was ever superficial or small talk. Everything was real and rooted. People could cut to the core of you in a moment, and the truth was that I had no problem being exposed to these strangers. There was so much to say to be to told, so much to listen to and absorb. About me, about life. I have some new life long friends.
The timing was perfect because it helped distract me from the pain of leaving my students. But, as much as I wanted to stay with them, I had an easy time leaving because I was ready to face my last weeks in Copan. I felt rejuvenated. I'm trying to hold onto that feeling.
A young woman who came to Copan to learn Spanish was staying with one of my student's family and they had recommended she come up to observe his last day of school. It wasn't bad, it just made things a little stranger and less sentimental than they would have been.
She didn't come back to the room after recess for the last class, so when I gave them all their folders (I'd already given out their superlatives and recollected them) and we said our goodbyes, she wasn't there.
I made it through about half the hugs before I started crying. It was a sob-fest, like I was afraid it would be, I was just teary. I think they liked to see that I meant it when I said I was going to miss them.
I was also broken up a bit because one of my favorites wasn't there. She missed the last day of school. I was able to send her folder with a friend. We said our last goodbyes yesterday when she came for recoup exams. She passed one and failed the other and I was afraid she would be too upset with me to hug me goodbye, but she fell into me sobbing and told me how much she would miss me and promised that if I came back for one more year she would never be absent from school for the whole year. It broke my heart. She thanked me for always being so good to her.
But before I came back to school, I left for El Salvador. I sent my kids off, and several of them skipped the bus to come back to hang out with me until the secondary bus came. I was touched, but had to tell them I needed to go because I was catching my bus soon. I scurried home, packed, and went to catch the bus.
The bus was an hour late,which was no big deal, and then we took off. All was well until we got to El Salvador. Apparently, El Salvador still believes in the CA-4. They said that what Guatemala and Honduras were doing was wrong. That even though there was no way I could have known I was breaking anyone's law because I had abided by the laws, I still had to pay a fine. We argued, respectfully, gently, and being as understanding to their situation as we could, for an hour. They called their superiors to lower the fine or to remove the fine, but to no avail. Finally, we had to pool our money and pay 114$ for a 5 day you'd-better-sort-your-stuff-out-and-get-out-of-here-quick visa.
After all of this, I was pretty discouraged about my presence on the trip. I spent the next several hours in a rather unhappy place.
However, as soon as we got to where we were going, and met up with the missionaries we were going to meet, I knew that I was in the right place.
I was sick for the whole weekend (presumably the same sickness that has been coming and going for the last who knows how long). But the weekend and the experience and the people and the conversation was amazing.
This was my first time in El Salvador and I saw nothing. We got there and met everyone in a Chinese restaurant (weird, right? Cities have everyting), then we left and went to the church. We spent every waking, eating, and sleeping moment in the church until Sunday afternoon. On Sunday we attended both services, ate lunch, got in a bus, and went to another church for a big event. When the event was over, we got in the bus and went to another church where we slept until it was time to catch our bus back to Copan. We had no troubles at the borders on the way back.
How to explain these 3 days is beyond my abilities. Amazing people, conversation, and fellowship. There was so much joy and fullness of life. Nothing that we talked about was ever superficial or small talk. Everything was real and rooted. People could cut to the core of you in a moment, and the truth was that I had no problem being exposed to these strangers. There was so much to say to be to told, so much to listen to and absorb. About me, about life. I have some new life long friends.
The timing was perfect because it helped distract me from the pain of leaving my students. But, as much as I wanted to stay with them, I had an easy time leaving because I was ready to face my last weeks in Copan. I felt rejuvenated. I'm trying to hold onto that feeling.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Student Letters
Yesterday I finished writing my 18 letters, one for each student. I began almost 2 months ago and could only get through a few at a time before I'd choke up at the idea of goodbye (an idea that is very close right now) but as soon as I finished, I set to the task that Rachel suggested and stuck with me. I began looking for a verse of scripture for each student.
1 Timothy 4:22-- Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.
Hebrews 10:35-36-- Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
Proverbs 16:16-- How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight than silver.
1 Peter 3:10-- Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceit.
Ephesians 4:32-- Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Proverbs 11:6-- A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.
2 Timothy 1:7--For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
John 16:33-- I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
Proverbs 4:7-- Wisdom is the prime thing. Acquire wisdom; and with all that you acquire, acquire understanding.
Isaiah 41:10-- Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look around you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9-- I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged I am the Lord your God and I will be there to help you wherever you go.
Ephesians 4:2--Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.
Proverbs 18:24-- Some friends don't help but a true friend is closer than your own family.
1 Peter 4:8--Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Romans 8:28--And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
3 John 1:5-- Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you.
James 1:12--Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Proverbs 16:7-- When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
I have placed each letter, with the handwritten verse, in their envelopes along with their superlative awards, advice for keeping up English over the summer, and, for one student, a perfect attendance award.
The superlatives are:
Most Confident
Most Likely to be a TV Writer
Most Likely to be an Event Announcer
Most Likely to be a Soccer Player
Most Likely to be a Teacher
Best One-Liner Jokes
Most Likely to Make You Believe Anything with a Smile
Most Compassionate
Best Animal Sounds
Most Likely to be a Spy
Most Likely to be a Detective
Best Mathematician
Most Likely to be on a Toothpaste Commercial
Most Likely to write a Book
Most Likely to be a Singer
Best Scientist
Most Likely to be a Community Leader
Most Likely to be an Artist
Thursday we'll be doing a feel good activity where each student must think of one good thing about every other student in the room. They will write them on a sheet. I will collect them, review them, and add those to the packets too.
1 Timothy 4:22-- Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.
Hebrews 10:35-36-- Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
Proverbs 16:16-- How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight than silver.
1 Peter 3:10-- Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceit.
Ephesians 4:32-- Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Proverbs 11:6-- A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.
2 Timothy 1:7--For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
John 16:33-- I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
Proverbs 4:7-- Wisdom is the prime thing. Acquire wisdom; and with all that you acquire, acquire understanding.
Isaiah 41:10-- Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look around you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9-- I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged I am the Lord your God and I will be there to help you wherever you go.
Ephesians 4:2--Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.
Proverbs 18:24-- Some friends don't help but a true friend is closer than your own family.
1 Peter 4:8--Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Romans 8:28--And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
3 John 1:5-- Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you.
James 1:12--Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Proverbs 16:7-- When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
I have placed each letter, with the handwritten verse, in their envelopes along with their superlative awards, advice for keeping up English over the summer, and, for one student, a perfect attendance award.
The superlatives are:
Most Confident
Most Likely to be a TV Writer
Most Likely to be an Event Announcer
Most Likely to be a Soccer Player
Most Likely to be a Teacher
Best One-Liner Jokes
Most Likely to Make You Believe Anything with a Smile
Most Compassionate
Best Animal Sounds
Most Likely to be a Spy
Most Likely to be a Detective
Best Mathematician
Most Likely to be on a Toothpaste Commercial
Most Likely to write a Book
Most Likely to be a Singer
Best Scientist
Most Likely to be a Community Leader
Most Likely to be an Artist
Thursday we'll be doing a feel good activity where each student must think of one good thing about every other student in the room. They will write them on a sheet. I will collect them, review them, and add those to the packets too.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Why we do it
In these end-times, my kids and I have all been getting a little sentimental. One of my students, whom I tutor for all of my free time, it seems, has always kept up a tough front. We have a love-hate relationship. Recently, he gave me a "I'm going to miss you note" and it struck a cord with me.
Then, a student I rather frequently refer to as "my favorite human being on the planet" (sorry to all of you who thought you had a chance at winning that position. It has been filled), recently wrote me a letter too.
The outside alone is adorable, but the inside says, "Thank you for your help in English. You help us so much. We do jokes but we are growing up for do good. No one can live forever. I will never forget you because you are my friend for a life. With love, Rubdy"
I love my kids. Isaac gave me an elephant puzzle and he wrote me a letter on the backside of the pieces. There "my beloved teacher" is immortalized.
This is half of why it's so hard for me to leave. I feel like a mother to 18 children that already have mothers.
Then, a student I rather frequently refer to as "my favorite human being on the planet" (sorry to all of you who thought you had a chance at winning that position. It has been filled), recently wrote me a letter too.
The outside alone is adorable, but the inside says, "Thank you for your help in English. You help us so much. We do jokes but we are growing up for do good. No one can live forever. I will never forget you because you are my friend for a life. With love, Rubdy"
I love my kids. Isaac gave me an elephant puzzle and he wrote me a letter on the backside of the pieces. There "my beloved teacher" is immortalized.
This is half of why it's so hard for me to leave. I feel like a mother to 18 children that already have mothers.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Changes
So, I spent the first part of this week very ill. It started on Friday with a little stomach ache, led to a weekend of staying in the house (which was needed and actually productive) and ended with just stomach pain and horrible headaches that have just today completely subsided. On the weekend I would alternate between the bathroom, being curled up in a ball, cleaning, and laundry (the latter two usually resulted in another hour of being in ball, but hey, I got a lot done and it was mentally, though not physically, refreshing). Monday I was at school, and the stomach was hurting, but with no other real symptoms. Monday night it hurt to move my eyes. It hurt so much I couldn't remember to do simple tasks like take medicine (I got up 6 times to take ibuprofen, and finally when bringing back jello to eat, I saw the pills and remembered that I really wanted to take them.) For the rest of the week the eye headache hung around, but it was not nearly as bad nor debilitating.
On Wednesday my tutoring was canceled,my Spanish classes have been canceled for 3 weeks, and Rachel and I rescheduled. I took advantage of my new found free time to get my first pedicure ever. Getting a design is standard procedure here, not extra. It was nice.
On Thursday I went back to the same salon and chopped off me here. Look! Before and After pictures!
Speaking of changes, look at Dulci! 5-day-old Dulci to the right and 6 month old Dulci to the left.
On Wednesday my tutoring was canceled,my Spanish classes have been canceled for 3 weeks, and Rachel and I rescheduled. I took advantage of my new found free time to get my first pedicure ever. Getting a design is standard procedure here, not extra. It was nice.
On Thursday I went back to the same salon and chopped off me here. Look! Before and After pictures!
Speaking of changes, look at Dulci! 5-day-old Dulci to the right and 6 month old Dulci to the left.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
If it wasn't obvious from the fact that I decided to stay with my same students for a second year, they have a special place in my heart. From Francis, the first student I lost (to a life in the United States with his brother, father, and new step mother December 2009), to Juan and Maria Jose who did not return to my class this school year, to Destiny and Sofia who were knew to my class this school year, and the other 16 (17 if you count the one I only get for science this year, but who was in my class full-time last year), I love my kids.
I have students who work hard and do well. Students who work hard and do not do well. Students who do not work hard and do well. I even have students who do not work hard and do not do well. I have students who can't stop talking, students that intentionally push my buttons, and students who would do anything to please me.
Even the ones who do everything they can to get under my skin, I know that they are just a product of their environment. It's amazing to me, actually, how clearly most children come out of their circumstances as they are. Supportive parents= well rounded child, non-supportive parents= child in desperate need of attention. Of course, it's not always so cut and dry, but it is the standard way.
I have one student in particular, who has the ability to pull on my heart strings. She is very intelligent, but talks all through class and doesn't study or do her homework. She's sweet as can be and would rather just chat. Her humor and honesty have worked their way into me.
This past week, she's been talking to me a lot about how she doesn't want me to go, but how she understands. I told her that I would try to come back to visit in the next couple of years, and she asked me if I could come back in a few years to teach them again. She gets to me.
I have another student who's been leaving me notes on my desk asking me not to leave. The parents of my students and my Spanish teacher like to remind me that I don't have to go.
This coming weekend is Emily and Tiffany's birthday, two weeks later is my birthday, then is the weekend after school ends, and then I leave. It will be a beautiful time, but I often find myself looking at it and wishing I could stretch it out. I like my life here.
I'm writing each one of my students a personal letter about what a pleasure it has been to teach them and their strengths. What I hope for them. I can only do so many at a time because they make me sad too.
I suppose it's like coming to the end of a beautiful relationship. A very difficult break up. We both understand each other, but after all of our time together it won't work. It's still heart breaking.
I have students who work hard and do well. Students who work hard and do not do well. Students who do not work hard and do well. I even have students who do not work hard and do not do well. I have students who can't stop talking, students that intentionally push my buttons, and students who would do anything to please me.
Even the ones who do everything they can to get under my skin, I know that they are just a product of their environment. It's amazing to me, actually, how clearly most children come out of their circumstances as they are. Supportive parents= well rounded child, non-supportive parents= child in desperate need of attention. Of course, it's not always so cut and dry, but it is the standard way.
I have one student in particular, who has the ability to pull on my heart strings. She is very intelligent, but talks all through class and doesn't study or do her homework. She's sweet as can be and would rather just chat. Her humor and honesty have worked their way into me.
This past week, she's been talking to me a lot about how she doesn't want me to go, but how she understands. I told her that I would try to come back to visit in the next couple of years, and she asked me if I could come back in a few years to teach them again. She gets to me.
I have another student who's been leaving me notes on my desk asking me not to leave. The parents of my students and my Spanish teacher like to remind me that I don't have to go.
This coming weekend is Emily and Tiffany's birthday, two weeks later is my birthday, then is the weekend after school ends, and then I leave. It will be a beautiful time, but I often find myself looking at it and wishing I could stretch it out. I like my life here.
I'm writing each one of my students a personal letter about what a pleasure it has been to teach them and their strengths. What I hope for them. I can only do so many at a time because they make me sad too.
I suppose it's like coming to the end of a beautiful relationship. A very difficult break up. We both understand each other, but after all of our time together it won't work. It's still heart breaking.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Family Visit
My parents and grandparents (mom's folks) just came for a 10 day visit. This visit had the most people I've hosted and the longest amount of time. Several months back I booked hotels, one in Copan, and one in Antigua, Guatemala. Copan is known for it's Semana Santa, but Antigua is famous. I had seen pictures and heard stories, so I was pretty excited to get to go.
Copan is really hot at this time of year, so I put my folks up in TerraMaya. It has AC and is right next door to my house. Antigua is further north and in much higher mountains. The town is also full of people during Semana Santa, so I thought it might be nice to get out of town. With a lot of luck, a bit of word of mouth, and a smidge of research, I found the Earthlodge. It is a 20-30 minute truck ride out of town with a beautiful few of Antigua. It was cool and quiet, which was a very relaxing way to start the day and a fantastic way to end the day after being in the crowds in town. Plus, we got to stay in tree houses.
The family arrived Thursday afternoon. I got a call as I was giving my last recuperation exam of the week (science) saying they had arrived in Honduras and were on their way to Copan. When I finished work, I went into town, took care of some business at the bank, and paid for my internet. As I walked back toward home, I came across two of my students. They decided to walk with me to the house. When we got to the house, two more students were sitting on my porch. Fernando, Elvira, Destiny, and Yoela "helped" me clean. I was getting short on time, so in the end I gave them the elephant book and put them on the porch (At some point or another Sofia, another student, came as well). As we got close to the time of arrival, I asked the kids to sit downstairs and keep an eye out. When my family did arrive, I had the kids line up, so as not to bombard my tired-from-traveling family. They greeted them, helped us carry the bags into the hotel, and left. My folks thought it was adorable.
The next day was Dia del Folklore at the school. We had spent the last several weeks making champas for each grade. The students had put together signs with information for their indigenous group, as well as preparing presentations and one girl and boy from each class has been selected for the indio bonito competition. For me, it was the perfect day to have them at school. I did not need to have lesson plans or keep control of a classroom while their was company. My parents and grandparents still got to see the school and watch me interact with my students. Plus, it's a very informative day on the different parts of Honduras. It was only a half day at school, so after we walked up to the bird park and walked around.
The next day we spent 7 hours on a bus going to Antigua. The original plan was to take a Hedman bus, but the only bus from Copan leaves too late for us to still be able to get a ride up to the hostel. So, we took a shuttle, which left at 6. We got to town, got to our pickup spot and waited for the truck to take us up. On the bus, I met a very friendly tour guide named Martin. I may be hopping on with one of his groups to Tikal later in the year, if I can find the time to go.
We got to Earthlodge, settled in, and just camped out for the afternoon. The mountains were beautiful, the walk up was steep, and dinner was only a few hours away. The cool air was much better for my family, but as the sun got lower, I got cold. We moved in and invaded the large couch with a pleasant young man sitting on it. Jorge (the pleasant young man) and, later, his friend Juanjo (who was also pleasant, I just talked to him less) and my family talked the evening away. Turns out that they were locals just enjoying an evening off outside town (I found that a good sign for my choice in hostels, that the locals would use it for a place to hang out).
The hostel dinner set up is family style, and Jorge, among other guests, sat at a table with us. We enjoyed good food, good drink, and good conversation. I did a lot less of the talking than I normally would have because my folks were enjoying sharing stories of my youth. Mostly centered around my eating habits back when I was a runner. Shortly after dinner, my folks headed to their rooms because we were starting the next day fairly early. Not long after they went in, I followed. (I think this is the only evening that I stayed out longer than they did. Most nights, I was the first one to bed.)
In the morning we ate breakfast, I exchanged e-mails with Jorge, and we went into town for mass. We went to the big cathedral on the central park. The palms people had were like ornate bouquets. They were beautiful. After mass, we walked around a while, enjoying the sighs. We were always careful to watch our bags, especially in a crowds. A tour guide honed in on us, and for a while I tried to put him off, but my folks liked the idea, so we hired him. He took us to a place for lunch and met up with us again after we finished. I was not thrilled at first, but by the end of the tour he had won me other too. We got to see many of the carpets, many of the buildings. We saw many of the churches and ruins with good explanations. We went to a jade museum too. At the end of the tour, he amended it, at our request, so we could see the Palm Sunday procession. It was beautiful.
After a day of running around, being in the crowds, and making sure we stayed together, we enjoyed our quiet evening at the lodge. I went online (for the first time in 2 days!) and caught up on my e-mail. Jorge happened to be on and invited the whole family over to his house, his outside of central Antigua, for a late lunch the next day. I ran it past the family and we made a plan to meet in the park.
We took a nice slow morning. Mom, Dad, and I went on a little hike, and we didn't go into town until noon-ish. We ran into Tiffany and her Dad shortly after we got into town. I ran across the street to talk to her, leaned in for a hug, and my phone fell out of my bag. At first I thought a seam had split, but upon further inspection realized that my bag had been slashed. Luckily, nothing was missing. Within a few minutes, we also realized that mom's backpack had been slashed, and that nothing was missing. The amazing thing is that we had not been in any crowds and we both keep our bags in front of us. Before the day was over, I had found where my skirt, right next to where my bag had been, had been damaged, but not broken all the way through, by the knife. Dad kept insisting that it would have been for the best had he nicked me, because then we would have known when it happened. Thanks Dad.
We met up with Jorge, who was much taller than I remembered (though we had been sitting the whole time we talked in the Earthlodge). He drove us out of town, and to his house. We got a tour of the house. It was beautiful. We enjoyed a lovely view of the volcano and then ate lunch. Dad and I drank coffee and it was absolutely delicious.
The next day was our last day in Antigua. We went by the only church we had missed on our tour. This worked out nicely since we had missed seeing it due to the procession, and seeing it later meant we got to see the floats from the procession at rest in the church. We got a pick-me-up coffee at El Portal, which I know I went to a few times the last time I was in Antigua and used the rest of the day as a shopping day. We met up with Jorge one last time, went to lunch in a lovely restaurant, complete with a bookstore. It was fantastic.
When it was time to go, we gave ourselves ample time to haul our bags up the steep hill, slowly. We got up to the top and waited. As it got close to when our driver was supposed to arrive, Dad and I walked out to the fork in the road that I figured would throw him off. The hostel is only well known in certain circles and the aldea nearest is very small. It was getting to the point where I was going to have to buy phone credit to call the man I bought our tickets from when a mini bus came up the mountain. I walked up to the driver, who looked concerned, said, "Copan?" and a wide grin spread across his face as he confirmed that he was our ride.
We got back to Copan, which had a lovely thunderstorm that night. It was loud, wet, and earth-shaking. But the best part was, it cooled things down for us. My folks went to the ruins the next day, without me. I took the day to do laundry and other house-hold chores. We enjoyed lunch together and took the afternoon slow around town.
We tended to stick to mornings because of the heat. The next day we got to walk the nature trail by the ruins. We bought a few knickknacks and came back to town. On the third day, we walked up to La Pintata. I got to show them the corn-husk doll part of the women's co-op and the fabric part. On the way back to town, we got lunch and smoothies. We brought a smoothie to Dad, who had not been feeling well.
On the last full day, went down to go to mass. However, the procession, shockingly, came in a little late. We waited at Cafe Welchez with Vadal and Sarah Harrington. When it was time to go in, we did. All of the benches had been removed to make way for all the people. Most of mass was lovely. The announcements alone too 15 minutes. That priest is the chattiest priest I've ever known. Mom and Dad finished up their tourist shopping. The hammock man let us borrow his tape measure to see if the hammock chair would fit in any of the suitcases. Sadly, it did not. As it was the end of Lent, and Dad could now eat meat and drink beer, we ate dinner at the German bar. We had great German food and beer and Tomas gave us the tour of his brewery. I think it was the perfect way to end their trip.
This morning they all took off at 9. I have not heard from them, so I assume all went well.
Copan is really hot at this time of year, so I put my folks up in TerraMaya. It has AC and is right next door to my house. Antigua is further north and in much higher mountains. The town is also full of people during Semana Santa, so I thought it might be nice to get out of town. With a lot of luck, a bit of word of mouth, and a smidge of research, I found the Earthlodge. It is a 20-30 minute truck ride out of town with a beautiful few of Antigua. It was cool and quiet, which was a very relaxing way to start the day and a fantastic way to end the day after being in the crowds in town. Plus, we got to stay in tree houses.
The next day was Dia del Folklore at the school. We had spent the last several weeks making champas for each grade. The students had put together signs with information for their indigenous group, as well as preparing presentations and one girl and boy from each class has been selected for the indio bonito competition. For me, it was the perfect day to have them at school. I did not need to have lesson plans or keep control of a classroom while their was company. My parents and grandparents still got to see the school and watch me interact with my students. Plus, it's a very informative day on the different parts of Honduras. It was only a half day at school, so after we walked up to the bird park and walked around.
The next day we spent 7 hours on a bus going to Antigua. The original plan was to take a Hedman bus, but the only bus from Copan leaves too late for us to still be able to get a ride up to the hostel. So, we took a shuttle, which left at 6. We got to town, got to our pickup spot and waited for the truck to take us up. On the bus, I met a very friendly tour guide named Martin. I may be hopping on with one of his groups to Tikal later in the year, if I can find the time to go.
We got to Earthlodge, settled in, and just camped out for the afternoon. The mountains were beautiful, the walk up was steep, and dinner was only a few hours away. The cool air was much better for my family, but as the sun got lower, I got cold. We moved in and invaded the large couch with a pleasant young man sitting on it. Jorge (the pleasant young man) and, later, his friend Juanjo (who was also pleasant, I just talked to him less) and my family talked the evening away. Turns out that they were locals just enjoying an evening off outside town (I found that a good sign for my choice in hostels, that the locals would use it for a place to hang out).
The hostel dinner set up is family style, and Jorge, among other guests, sat at a table with us. We enjoyed good food, good drink, and good conversation. I did a lot less of the talking than I normally would have because my folks were enjoying sharing stories of my youth. Mostly centered around my eating habits back when I was a runner. Shortly after dinner, my folks headed to their rooms because we were starting the next day fairly early. Not long after they went in, I followed. (I think this is the only evening that I stayed out longer than they did. Most nights, I was the first one to bed.)
We took a nice slow morning. Mom, Dad, and I went on a little hike, and we didn't go into town until noon-ish. We ran into Tiffany and her Dad shortly after we got into town. I ran across the street to talk to her, leaned in for a hug, and my phone fell out of my bag. At first I thought a seam had split, but upon further inspection realized that my bag had been slashed. Luckily, nothing was missing. Within a few minutes, we also realized that mom's backpack had been slashed, and that nothing was missing. The amazing thing is that we had not been in any crowds and we both keep our bags in front of us. Before the day was over, I had found where my skirt, right next to where my bag had been, had been damaged, but not broken all the way through, by the knife. Dad kept insisting that it would have been for the best had he nicked me, because then we would have known when it happened. Thanks Dad.
The next day was our last day in Antigua. We went by the only church we had missed on our tour. This worked out nicely since we had missed seeing it due to the procession, and seeing it later meant we got to see the floats from the procession at rest in the church. We got a pick-me-up coffee at El Portal, which I know I went to a few times the last time I was in Antigua and used the rest of the day as a shopping day. We met up with Jorge one last time, went to lunch in a lovely restaurant, complete with a bookstore. It was fantastic.
We got back to Copan, which had a lovely thunderstorm that night. It was loud, wet, and earth-shaking. But the best part was, it cooled things down for us. My folks went to the ruins the next day, without me. I took the day to do laundry and other house-hold chores. We enjoyed lunch together and took the afternoon slow around town.
We tended to stick to mornings because of the heat. The next day we got to walk the nature trail by the ruins. We bought a few knickknacks and came back to town. On the third day, we walked up to La Pintata. I got to show them the corn-husk doll part of the women's co-op and the fabric part. On the way back to town, we got lunch and smoothies. We brought a smoothie to Dad, who had not been feeling well.
On the last full day, went down to go to mass. However, the procession, shockingly, came in a little late. We waited at Cafe Welchez with Vadal and Sarah Harrington. When it was time to go in, we did. All of the benches had been removed to make way for all the people. Most of mass was lovely. The announcements alone too 15 minutes. That priest is the chattiest priest I've ever known. Mom and Dad finished up their tourist shopping. The hammock man let us borrow his tape measure to see if the hammock chair would fit in any of the suitcases. Sadly, it did not. As it was the end of Lent, and Dad could now eat meat and drink beer, we ate dinner at the German bar. We had great German food and beer and Tomas gave us the tour of his brewery. I think it was the perfect way to end their trip.
This morning they all took off at 9. I have not heard from them, so I assume all went well.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Roatan, Roatan! (sung to the tune of Mayatan)
After living here for the better part of two years, I finally went to a Honduran beach. I had been to beaches in Guatemala, though most of my beach experiences were in Belize, but for the first time, I went to a Honduran beach. As a self proclaimed 'codo' it was hard to imagine relaxing enough to let go of the money it would take to go to a place like Roatan, but I did it. I had saved up some money and I had some money that I hadn't touched since Christmas (still in USD) that I just dedicated to the trip.
It was beautiful. White sands, clear waters, coral reefs within wading distance of the shore. I got my fill of new types of lizards, wood peckers, and fish (I know that's an odd combo, but hey, it's me). We took off at 6am from Copan and rode buses around until we got to Ceiba at 4pm, just in time for the 4:30 ferry. I do believe that the Galaxy was the biggest boat that I've ever been on. I sat up on the deck and buckled down for the rather choppy hour and a half ride to the island.
As we went, the sun was setting. It was beautiful and cliché in every way. I mean, in every way. I watched a giant cruise ship (a thing I have never seen before. I think they are monsters and I am both in awe and disgusted by them. Those things could house a small country.) sail off into the setting sun. Very cliché, very beautiful.
We took a taxi to our hotel, and English-land began. Much like in Antigua, Roatan is so touristy no one even bothers speaking Spanish to you. It was strange. 
The hotel was great. We were three to the room, Danielle, Vadal, and me. (Though, we started traveling with Emily, lost her in San Pedro when she went to the airport to get her sister and sister's husband. Then we traveled to Ceiba with Dave; he left to go hang out with his uncle. Then we met back up with Emily and company on the Galaxy. They went to their hotel in West bay, we left for ours in West End. Kat and her friend where staying in our hotel as well; this was planned. Ragan and her mom were there too; this was a pleasant surprise.) 
Anyway, the room has a single bed, double bed, kitchen, and porch. There was a nice place for reading on the water, and a very pleasant ambiance.
We had two days on the island, which was awesome. It was really funny to me, though, because I have gotten accustomed to my 2 days of travel, 1 day vacationing trips to Belize. We squeezed everything into the first day and almost didn't know what to do with ourselves on the second day.
The first day was bright, sunny, and skin burning. It was a relief, then, when the second day was overcast and rainy. I was badly burnt on the first day, but I believe that's because of the brief morning rain that came right after I applied my sunscreen. That and a failure to reapply. I peeled. It kept me up at night. I am recovered now.
I ate lots of sea food, enjoyed a beach massage (best invention ever), bought myself some new earrings and a necklace, and over all enjoyed the experience.
Of course, we snorkeled. This is where most of my cool pictures would have come from, had I had an underwater camera. However, I did not. Somethings just need to be remembered. It was a very different experience from my Belize snorkeling. For one, no boat was needed. We just walked out into the water with our rented equipment and looked around. It was mostly warm, until we came to the drop off. It wasn't as epic a drop off as in Finding Nemo, but it was pretty cool. And cold.
Among the various types of coral and fish, a couple really stood out. We saw a young barracuda. He did not look like he wanted to play. Or swim. Or be near us. We also saw a large school of really cool fish just making their way through the reef. I followed them for a while. The most beautiful fish to me were a dark blue, with glowing lightning blue spots or strips, depending on the fish. That brilliantly bright blue was amazing to me. I also saw a bigger fish with crab legs in his mouth. Happy fish. Jealous Sarah.
We had the option of a 3$ water taxi ride or a 45 minute walk to and from the hotel to the good beaches. We usually walked. I really enjoyed it. It gave a chance to see more and stretch our legs. It did, however, involve a death climb and decent up and over a canal on a metal bridge. I say death climb, because the stairs were rusted and falling away. You had to put on your shoes, step on the edges of the stairs and hold on in case you fell through. And hey, I updated my Tetanus shot recently! 
One evening we had the pleasure of catching the tail end of a fire show used as a fundraiser for a local school. I wish we could have seen more of it, these people were really talented. I've seen fire shows before, but never anything like this.
On our second morning, we took advantage of our kitchen and made breakfast. The cinnamon roll was purchased, and the beans were from a bag, but it was awesome. Plus, we saved a buck and considering how expensive food was, that was a good thing.
Once it was time to go, I was ready. Roatan was nice, but there were a lot of tourists and it was hard to get to know the local people. I find that I really enjoy small towns, which I knew, even for my vacations, which I suspected.
Anyway, this is a cashew fruit and nut.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Saturday was too
Saturday I gave myself some quiet time in the house. I did some laundry, listened to music, and ate good food.Around 1 I left to venture into the park. There I encountered several of the other teachers and some of our students playing with chalk in center. Other kids had come to join, some to draw, others to have chalk wars. It was entertaining. As the afternoon wore on, more and more of my students came into the park. There seemed to be artists everywhere. Several passed by to work on the mural of bottle caps that my students helped collect. One was in the corner doing caricatures. One of the students got one done and we waited for him before going a few blocks down, with the students, to see the mural in action.
When we got there, we helped sort through the bottle caps. A pile of those that we could use and a pile of those that we could not. The artist drew lines in the cement he was laying on the side of the wall and showed the kids how to mount the bottle caps into it. They took turns helping out. I was keeping an eye out for a girl who had gone to ask her mom before coming, and I knew she was going to end up heading the wrong direction (she knew we were near the fair grounds, but they were 2 blocks below us). When she arrived, I went down to get her, since a few drunks were stumbling by. Two of the boys followed me, and then ignored me when I instructed them to go back. I got uncomfortable having disobedient children around drunks, so we went back to the park.
I went home for a short time, and then texted Katie from Urban Promise. I knew that she was going with some of her youth to the fair and wanted to join them. However, what I had not understood and then signed up for, was a trip to Nueva Esperanza (up the mountain a bit) to collect 20ish 7 year olds, and helping with one of the groups of 7 year old girls. We went from 6-8 and I had a blast with my three new, young friends. One of my girls was a bit prissy and didn't want to follow the rules. In fact, for most of the time, she despised me. Toward the end she had a change of heart and we were inseparable.
The girls clamored back onto the bus when it was time to go and I waved them goodbye to join some of the teachers who had come down to the fair as well.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday was Amazing
I woke up Friday morning and walked up to school. I had an hour and a half of academic time to work on our daily things, take a spelling test, and write our first drafts for an essay competition. During my academic time, however, a student had brought in her new pet "Zibi." Zibi got free and flew around my room until I became the Monster Tamer and got her back in the box. I'm not going to lie, it was awesome.
I got home a bit after 8 and went to sleep around 9:30. I, for some strange reason, wasn't sleeping well, and heard English walking by my window at 11:30. I thought some of the teachers were out, so I sent a text to Emily, who was sleeping. I could hear a lot of commotion in the park. I decided to head out and see who was out. The party in Barcito was winding down when I got there, but I still got to catch up with a number of people. Katie, one of the Urban Promise girls and I were able to have a real heart to heart, which was nice. I only stayed out an hour and came back and tried sleeping again, which went a little better the second time.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Quickie Update!
Let's just say teaching while you're sick is the pits. I've gotten to a point where I do not get sick very much anymore. I do not like it when I do. The last two days I've been fighting the onset of a cold, using the netipot, drinking water, eating more oranges than my stomach knows what to do with (that's not true. My stomach loves them, especially with salt), and sleeping all the time. However, today it became apparent, that the cold was here and ready to stay. I went down to the market, loaded up on ginger, and then went to the farmacia for some numb-these-symptoms pills. Wish my luck!
I've been in a bit of a teaching lull, and need to work my way out of it. Go-go energized Sarah! I'm hoping that getting my kids jazzed for a competition with fourth grad 'B' will help me get there.
The Copan fair starts this weekend and an artists, I believe from Tegus, is coming to make a mural with recycled items. Mostly, bottle caps from plastic soda bottles. We have some friends that are local artists and are helping out with the fair, and the boys need 3 large garbage bags of bottle caps. The Mayatan fourth graders are doing their best to find them all over town (for once, the amount of garbage here is helpful) and competing for the win! The winning class will get a popcorn party. I really enjoyed the fair last year, and hope to enjoy the first half this year.
For the second half of the fair week, we have off from school. I will be taking advantage of this opportunity to travel. In all my time here, I have yet to go to any of the Honduran beaches. So, I have been saving up my money and am just going to go for it. I am going to Roatan. The most expensive, well known place in Honduras. I leave in a week and 2 days and I am stoked.
In 6ish weeks, my lovely parents and wonderful grandparents will be here to visit. I have already booked their hotel in Copan and our hotel in Antigua. We will be staying in tree houses and I am pumped!
Also, right now, I will refuse to think about anything after that point. However, it seems like bunches are people want to stay a second year so I'll have all my Honduran friends and old gringo co-workers to come visit should I find a way to do it next year!
That's my quickie update!
I've been in a bit of a teaching lull, and need to work my way out of it. Go-go energized Sarah! I'm hoping that getting my kids jazzed for a competition with fourth grad 'B' will help me get there.
The Copan fair starts this weekend and an artists, I believe from Tegus, is coming to make a mural with recycled items. Mostly, bottle caps from plastic soda bottles. We have some friends that are local artists and are helping out with the fair, and the boys need 3 large garbage bags of bottle caps. The Mayatan fourth graders are doing their best to find them all over town (for once, the amount of garbage here is helpful) and competing for the win! The winning class will get a popcorn party. I really enjoyed the fair last year, and hope to enjoy the first half this year.
For the second half of the fair week, we have off from school. I will be taking advantage of this opportunity to travel. In all my time here, I have yet to go to any of the Honduran beaches. So, I have been saving up my money and am just going to go for it. I am going to Roatan. The most expensive, well known place in Honduras. I leave in a week and 2 days and I am stoked.
In 6ish weeks, my lovely parents and wonderful grandparents will be here to visit. I have already booked their hotel in Copan and our hotel in Antigua. We will be staying in tree houses and I am pumped!
Also, right now, I will refuse to think about anything after that point. However, it seems like bunches are people want to stay a second year so I'll have all my Honduran friends and old gringo co-workers to come visit should I find a way to do it next year!
That's my quickie update!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Parents.
I am not a parent. I understand that it is easy to criticize when the child and the situation is not yours. However, I also understand that a teacher gets a unique perspective on the child's life and the way in which parents influence them.
In any society that I know of, the working class has an even harder balance between family and money/work. I have several students whose parents really are not there to help with homework. Who cannot be supportive in their child's academics. I have parents who say that they cannot help because they don't know English, and I try to encourage them to help in other ways, because they can. I have other parents who cannot read, and that really does limit their ability to help, or even know if their child is doing the work.
I have many parents who expect their child to be completely self motivating. I will tell them how capable their child is, if they would just put in a little more work, they could improve by leaps and bounds, and they will tell the child to study more. To do their homework. To do whatever is lacking, but not actually do anything to help. I want to tell them that they need to help. That their 9 year old son is not going to be self motivating. That he needs to be pushed. But, I feel that is a line I cannot cross. I do not feel like I am in a position to tell parents how to be parents.
I have high achievers too. Their parents push them to do well. It's great. But there's balance to be had there as well. A 9 year old does not need to be in a world of trouble because one of her grades is below a 95. There is one particularly bright student, who is more than a handful, whose parents tell him that he doesn't need to be the best. That's okay. He doesn't need to be the best. But, they also tell him that he can fail a class, as long as he doesn't fail too many, because he can still be passed on to 5th grade with one failed class. He then comes and explains this to us when we try to get him to study.
My students call report card day “Dia de la Faja” or “Day of the Belt.”
One thing I really want to remember when I am a parent: Kids tell their teachers and their classmates your family secrets.
In any society that I know of, the working class has an even harder balance between family and money/work. I have several students whose parents really are not there to help with homework. Who cannot be supportive in their child's academics. I have parents who say that they cannot help because they don't know English, and I try to encourage them to help in other ways, because they can. I have other parents who cannot read, and that really does limit their ability to help, or even know if their child is doing the work.
I have many parents who expect their child to be completely self motivating. I will tell them how capable their child is, if they would just put in a little more work, they could improve by leaps and bounds, and they will tell the child to study more. To do their homework. To do whatever is lacking, but not actually do anything to help. I want to tell them that they need to help. That their 9 year old son is not going to be self motivating. That he needs to be pushed. But, I feel that is a line I cannot cross. I do not feel like I am in a position to tell parents how to be parents.
I have high achievers too. Their parents push them to do well. It's great. But there's balance to be had there as well. A 9 year old does not need to be in a world of trouble because one of her grades is below a 95. There is one particularly bright student, who is more than a handful, whose parents tell him that he doesn't need to be the best. That's okay. He doesn't need to be the best. But, they also tell him that he can fail a class, as long as he doesn't fail too many, because he can still be passed on to 5th grade with one failed class. He then comes and explains this to us when we try to get him to study.
My students call report card day “Dia de la Faja” or “Day of the Belt.”
One thing I really want to remember when I am a parent: Kids tell their teachers and their classmates your family secrets.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Pros and Cons, though the Decision is Made
I'm reached the midway point when I have a difficult time holding on to my life here. My focus is already beginning to shift to what life will be like back in the United States, and to be perfectly honest, it scares me. I know I will adjust, I know it will be fine, but I also know that it will be difficult. And at times, very sad. Leaving my students especially, will cause me to miss this place.
So, I have decided to compile a list of things I miss about living in the United States:
- My family
- Dishwashers
- Clothes wash and dryer
- Fast internet
- Having more than 1 set of sheets (though, if I had a washer and dryer, this would be less of an issue)
- Having more than 1 towel
- Reliable electricity
- Less corruption
- Not being leered at
- Not struggling to understand the things that are said to me
- Fitting in
- Reese's
- Quiet
- Having places to go camping
- Easier travel
- Smooth roads
- Humanity toward animals and people
- Spayed and neutered animals (the alternative is poisoning the trash once a month, or so)
- Access to books
- Drinking water from the tap
- Vegetables that don't have to be bleached
- Not wondering if every stomach hiccup is going to be another bout of food poisoning
- Not having parasites
- Knowing that no one will be prescribed Amoxicillian for pain
- Being able to use a more extensive vocabulary
On the other hand, as I wrote most of these, there was an upside to the way they are here. Washing my clothes and dishes by hand is very therapeutic and forces you to slow down the pace of life. It makes you plan. I really enjoy being challenged to understand another language. It's also nice sometimes to NOT fit in. Or to know that the noise level is because of being close to everything, which is great. Travel here may take longer and be more of a hassle, but it's also really interesting. I like the cobble stone streets. I know that not everyone in the States is Humane either, and many people here are. At least I have tons of fresh vegetables. My stomach has gotten really strong. I can get antibiotics for myself easily (and I know that I won't abuse them).
Here I have the following advantages:
- I can walk everywhere
Walking everywhere, means constantly running into people I know- I get exercise and fresh air every day!
- The mountains are beautiful
- The animals that we use on a regular basis, are also a part of our regular lives
- I get to be more involved in my students' lives
- People can holler up to my window and invite me places
- My phone is pay as I go
- I prepare and eat real, good food all the time
- Life goes at a pace that I can feel and absorb the little moments
- I've gotten to know another culture, and another people
I've gotten to know another language- I have a tight community
- I live alone
- I have a turtle
- Even after a year and a half (+) everything is still interesting
- I have developed so many small, but daily relationships with the people I see
- I learned to cook here
- I've learned what I can live without
- I've seen religion through the eyes of a different people
- I've seen Americans through the eyes of a different people (both good and bad)
- I love the flora here
- Medical care is cheap
- I have a gas stove top
- I live in harmony with several types of wasps, ants, and spiders
While writing this list, I find that most of what I love I don't know how to put into words. I went to San Pedro last week, and it was amazing. There is no event or explanation that I can explain to another person, it was just the company, the feel, and the stories we shared. My life here is similar. That, and I've grown into myself here. I am stronger, more sure, more aware, and more willing. I still have many things I struggle with, but I feel like this put my life-progress on the fast tract. There's a big part of my that doesn't want to leave that, but if I stay, I'll just get comfortable, and there's more in store for me.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Times are A'changin!
The changes in my outlook, understanding, and habits have been large and many. It starts in very small things, but the spread has been huge and intense. My active pursuit of information, practicing problem solving skills, enjoying the details, prayer, silence...everything. I've banished myself from TV and have, on a completely unrelated note, become much more productive and happier.
My house is now peppered with a myriad of quotes and Biblical verses, including one that covers my TV screen. I made a coaster out of old T-shirts that had holes and were too stretched out to wear. And as of today, I've made a list of things to do daily. This is not a do-it-or-die list, but a to-have-the-best-day-possible list. I've posted it in a place that I must see it everyday, several times.Most of the changes in my life revolve around the spiritual changes I've been experiencing. It seems that everyone at English-church has been experiencing something like this, but not like this. We've all just been have growth present itself in different ways.
I find that the simplicity of awareness in and of itself is amazing. It helps to be surrounded by beautiful mountains and have a gorgeous flowering mango tree outside my house, but I'm graced with being aware of the beautiful things around me. I'm really trying to focus on enjoying the small things. I think we lose a lot when we allow the small things to go unnoticed.
On a very different note, but involving many of the same people, we had a girls night chocolate party. We ate chocolate, chocolate no-bake cookies, hot chocolate, ice cream with chocolate fudge, Nutella, and we watched the movie Chocolat. I cannot express how awesome it was.
I know a lot of people who feel guilty when they enjoy their food, or count calories just to be angry with themselves later. I refuse to do that. I ate a ton this weekend, and I'll do better during the week, but if I had the chance to do it again, I would. Though, on a more regular note, I think I want to incorporate more raw foods into my diet. I've read a lot about raw food diets, and it sounds awesome. I don't have any desire to have such restrictive rules though, but I do believe in balance. I will continue to enjoy eggs, pasta, meat, but I can replace some of my cooked meals, with raw veggies. I'm rediscovering my love of raw carrots and green beans! And raw veggies are healthier anyway. I don't have to go all the way to enjoy the benefits of more raw foods in my diet (plus, it would also mean just more veggies, which I could stand to do anyway. My current diet consists of probably 90% carbs and protein, and that's just a little excessive.)
Friday, January 28, 2011
Shower Talk
I've mentioned to a number of friends now, that in my Honduran life, no shower goes to waste. In practically every shower, something other than myself gets cleaned as well. Every three of 4 days, I put Dulcinea in her first home to sit while I clean her tank, in the shower. Periodically my mop or a pair of shoes will come in with me for a washing.
Most commonly, it's my clothes. My original reasoning for washing my clothes came from the irrational fear that my land family will stand around and wash me do my laundry in the pila downstairs. I know this would never happen, but whenever I think of going out there, that's what I imagine. Then, on a slightly more logical note, they don't keep the pila filled. This means I would have to fill each bucketful for rinsing, instead of just dipping a bucket in to rinse, which is how I do it in the shower anyway. I am able to scrub on my shower floor. And then, the most amazing part about washing my clothes in the shower, is that I get to use hot water.
I usually wash 4-7 articles at a time. I fill a bucket with detergent and hot water to sit. Whenever it strikes my fancy, I go in for a shower. I do my personal washing in the between times, when a bucket is filling for a rinse. It certainly makes my showers longer, but I secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy showering. As I finish rinsing each article, I hang it on the cloth rack on the inside of the door, and when all is done, I get hangers for all the clothes, hang them up, and put them on the porch. Except for my underwear, which gets hung up around the house on the tops of curtain rods. My windows seem to sport a kind of underwear garden after big loads.
Since I never use the pila, but wet/clean clothes appear on my porch from time to time, I wonder if my landlords have figured out my secret. Or if they think I wash my clothes with magic.
On the days that I don't bring something in to wash with me, I usually notice that the shower could use a good scrubbing, and take advantage of the soap and water around me to take care of that. My shower always has a bucket, for soaking, and an old toothbrush, for scrubbing, and that about covers my extra-shower time needs.
In the theme of showers, my next 6-week-focus, in another 5 weeks, will be shower stretching. Since I don't run much anymore, and more than one doctor in my life has told me I need to stretch daily, I figure the shower is as good as any time. It's warm, it's daily, and, again, it will prolong what I already enjoy. Plus, it will help warm up the muscles. I really only stretch when my tendons get so tight it hurts to do daily things. That's not a particularly good sign, and I'm too young for that sort of thing. So this will help me out in the long run too.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The End of January is Upon Us
At this time last year, it was still rather cold, but it appears that December and January have swapped places this school year, though December never got as cold as last January. Now, the heat is upon us and my students are already antsy in the afternoon hours of the school day. The difficult part about this, is that I know it will only get worse, much worse, before the end of the school year. As things wind down, I do see the things that I will miss about my life here and I am thankful that the heat and the dust will be sending me off. It will make it a little easier to say goodbye.
The dirt gets so dry, that as I walk, the dusty ground will billow out and consume my feet. It's pretty entertaining, except that the dust makes the rocks slippery. I've witnessed a few giant trucks going up into the mountains, toward Llanitios. They have been carrying giant spools of something. I know that the resources in these remote communities must get there something, but I find myself in awe that these trucks can manage the mountains.Several of the oddities in my life here revolve around the bathroom. Whenever I am not in my own home, I find that I check the back of the commode before using a toilet to make sure it already has water. The frequency in which I discover that the commode does not have water is pretty high. I then either find another bathroom, or fill it myself from the sink. In my home, I've had to rig up a rubber band to the lever that pulls the stop up when you flush, because the plastic that had been doing the job snapped, and so while my toilet fills with water, I had to lift it by hand every time I flushed. Too much hassle, if you ask me. Which you didn't, but there's my spiel on bathrooms anyway.
After living in Latin America for a year and a half, I still don't really know any of the traditional dances, but I have finally been getting into the dancing mood. The only real trouble with this is most of the people I'm around don't want to start dancing until much later in an evening and I'm a sleepy person later. I've been looking for a balance. We shall see.
I also find that I've gotten more comfortable with other things I used to not be so okay with. For example, I have “crazy ants” just like every other house in the area, and generally they are harmless and out of the way. You just learn to coexist with them, and on occasion one will tickle when it finds itself accidentally on your arm. However, on occasion the crazy ants will get thirsty and they will attack one of my drink supplies. This usually doesn't happen for long periods of time, nor is it a constant. More often than not, what happens is that I pour myself a glass of water, realize I have poured in a few ants, shrug it off, and drink it anyway. What? They're small.
My six week improvements are going well. I'm now in my second week of flossing and haven't missed a day yet. I can already feel a big difference. I've also mapped out the whole rest of the year, which happens to end with December 31, just by chance. I get really excited when I think about the changes I'm going to make over the course of the next year. I feel it is very manageable, but that by the end of this year, I will be a much healthier, happier, well informed individual.
In the theme of self improvement, I've been doing lots of research/having conversations on topics like protein consumption, minimalism, and over population. I have a variety of friends here who have read “The China Study” and I'm hoping to borrow “The World Without Us” soon. I find that I really enjoy these as thought exercises. There's so much to learn about the world, and I want to know it all! I wish that could happen.
Yesterday I went to a student's birthday party. He has a pet bunny, Boxy, who was also present at the party. Halfway through the party, I confiscated the poor over-stimulated, terrified bunny. I let them pet her, but only from my arms. Once she calmed down a bit, she kept licking my arm. My students mocked me because I, not even realizing it, coddled the animal and cooed at her to calm her down like she was a baby. But she was a scared little baby!
On a turtlier note, I've discovered that Dulcinea recognizes her food bottle and will follow it around the tank trying to get at it when I move it from it's normal location.
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