My Life is Consumed by Photos!

Most of my brain-time is spent hunting for the next photo, or potential future photos.  I have even dreamed about taking photos.  I spend time online scrolling through other people's photos and photo taking tip websites.  I'm starting to really get into this, though I know uninspired days are coming, I also know that they will pass.

Along with all my time spent taking, editing, looking at, and researching photos, I also spend some time online finding more self-education and self-improvement sites.  I find it refreshing and it helps me feel like I have some idea of what kind of life I want to live in the future.  As always, I know this idea will change over time, but it's nice to have a vision of what it might be like again.

New Year's Eve was a lot of fun.  After months of not staying out past 10 or 11 (and being tired and checked out around 9) on any given weekend, I feared the worst would happen on New Year's.  I decided to push my limits and I drank a pot and a half of coffee before going to spend time with Angela and her family.  I wasn't very talkative, but at least I wasn't dead and miserable looking trying to stay out of everyone's way.

At midnight a shift was made to ViaVia, where I danced the night away, with no one in particular, sometimes with a group, and sometimes solo.  I really enjoyed myself.  By the time I went home, it was very late and I was very tired.

I still had 5 days before school and I enjoyed a trip to the mall (for the thrift store, which is huge!) in Chiquimula, Guatemala with a few of my girlfriends.  We had a good time and we all found some fun items.  I found a Williamsburg, Virginia shirt and took a picture, but opted out of buying it.  On the way to Chiquimula, at a bus change, we ran into some of our other coworkers who were busing back to Copan after their vacation time.  It was really amusing (you know, to us).

With the start of school, I used the half week to recap all our rules and procedures and review basic vocabulary and a lot of what we covered in the first part of the school year.  I've also been teaching my kids about goal making and stick-to-it strategies (not unlike those I've been using for myself with the 6-week gig, which is going swimmingly).

On Friday, at lunch time, we were notified that we needed to take down everything from our walls and move all furniture to the middle of the room because the school was being painted.  My kids and I used the last class period to achieve this goal, which was chaotic, but I think there's nothing wrong with a little chaos on a Friday afternoon.  The school is being visited by a bilingual school association of some sort that we want to join.  They will be monitoring our classes, going over our lesson plans, and judging is the school is worthy.  The school decided it was in their best interest to paint the school to make us look a little more together and professional before they came in a week.

Unfortunately, when I went in on Sunday, at 10:30, when it was all supposed to be finished, and I could put my room back together, I was informed that my room was one of 3 that were skipped.  They painted it while I waited, and instead of taking 2-2:30 hours, I was at school for 6.  I was not foodily prepared and was very hungry when I did get to leave.  Only the furniture was taken care of, I decided to work on the posters after school for the next four days (I got a fair bit done today).

I have been getting out of my house a little more and have had the pleasure of meeting, getting to know, and helping a variety of tourists around town as well as getting to know more Hondurans I have always seen around but never talked to.  It has been tiring, but I hope to "catch up" on some sleep tonight and continue putting my life back together at school.

(PS, I think today's photo was my favorite so far.  I had no idea what I was going to take a picture of, and I stumbled upon this.  Ooo and Ahhh over it for me?
http://antesandafter.blogspot.com/2011/01/10-copan-grate.html)

A Random Sampling

I have now set up my Project 365 blog: http://antesandafter.blogspot.com/.

I enjoyed a trip to Santa Rosa, which is colder than Copan and helped prepare me for the States.  I also haven't traveled in a while and was able to enjoy  the crowded chicken buses again.  I actually really enjoy traveling around Central America, it's quite the cultural experience.  My favorite part is that at many of the crowded stops, people will climb onto the bus with food and/or drinks to sell.  I can get a bag of my beloved green mango with salt and salsa or a bag of coca with a straw.  It makes long days of travel much more bearable.  On the way to Santa Rosa, however, I experienced a new, but not surprising, phenomena.  At the start of the bus ride, a man stood up at the front of the bus with his Bible and preached to us.  He talked about how anyone can change their life, after all, he had.  He talked about the importance of faith.  He asked who on the bus believed and how everything would change if they would give their lives up to God.  I was glad my Spanish was as far along as it is so I could understood where he took it.


Being home hasn't proved to go according to plan, but it has been nice.  I've been sick with a nasty cold since I left Copan and a heavy snowstorm hit the east coast.  With their powers combined, some of my travel was canceled and I actually ended up with down time (which was really good, considering the cold.)


Unlike most of the snow we get in Williamsburg, this heavy fall was real snow.  Not ice.  Not slush-by-noon, but a solid 10 inches that stayed on for a few days.  It didn't roll well, so we didn't make snowmen, but we could make some snow balls, play with the dog, make snow angels, and enjoy walks in the snow.

It's been good to see family, be home, and have a mommy to help take care of me when sick (That hasn't happened in a while).  I've also had the chance to get a few useful things before going back to Copan for my last 6 months.  Which has been decided, once and for all, that I will be leaving Copan to move back to Williamsburg.  I'll have a summer of vacationing and finding work followed by a year of community college to get the credits I lack for licensure.  During that year, I will be boosting my undergrad GPA, studying for and taking the GREs, and applying to graduate schools.  I'm looking closely at a few schools, but more are always welcome.  Any suggestions?

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!  I only plan to keep up this blog as long as I'm in Honduras, so until part way through June.  Until then, I will be working on both my blogs and then switching over completely.  Here goes!

Feliz Navidad y prospero año nuevo!

The New Year is just Around the Corner

I've been finding myself online an absurd amount.  Instead of trying to curb my online time, I've just tried to make it more productive.  I look for memory and mind improvement websites (like http://www.khanacademy.org/ and http://www.knoword.org/) or writing exercises (http://oneword.com/ and http://www.onepageperday.com/) or simple do-it-youself fixes and recipes I can manage in Honduras.

I always think grandiose new year's resolutions are silly.  Thinking that the new year is some magical time to change our whole lives is unreasonable.  Most people embrace the joke that they won't even make it out of January with their resolution.  Failure is assumed at the start. 

Two and a half weeks ago I started my new year's resolution (since I'd figured it out already, I didn't see a reason to wait until the first.)  I'm going to spend the next 12-ish months in 6 week segments.  It takes the human mind 6 solid weeks to break and form a habit.  I am marking off on a calender each successful day, and Xing off each failed day for the first small 6 week goal.  Once 6 weeks are done, I shall move onto another small, manageable goal. (The first one is embarrassing, and I hope my dentist doesn't read this, but I'm finally getting into a rhythm of brushing my teeth twice a day, every day.  Next 6-weeks will be flossing.  And I have 10 weeks to figure out what comes next, but I'm starting up a list of small, daily changes I can work on.)

(This would have been the picture of the day)

This was going to be THE resolution, but then during a conversation about new year's resolutions I was introduced to Project 365.  I've really enjoyed learning a bit about photography during my time in Copan, and I think joining Project 365 for my other new year's resolution would be a lot of fun, insightful, and self-improving.  The project is to take one photo every single day for a year.  By default it improves photography skills, it helps you realize what things are most important to you, and it's a concise photo diary.  I'll be able to capture my 6 months in Central America and my first 6 months of my new, transitive life.  I also think this is the best year to do it because of the great change I'm about to go through.  I will be more aware of my surroundings at I leave Copan and when I return to the United States.

So, starting January 1st, I will be keeping a photo journal as well.
Enjoy the end of 2010!

Getting Better

After several busy weeks and abnormal schedules, I've finally been able to catch up on cleaning and laundry. As exciting as I know that sounds, it has made this weekend a breath of fresh air. As a part of my cleaning spree, I put up all of my Christmas things from last year and have either purchased, or figured out all of my Christmas gifts.


I've also been getting along better with the Land-family. Not that we ever didn't get along, but for a reason even I couldn't figure out I get beyond nervous around them and when I'm nervous, I cannot speak Spanish. I got my electricity bill, payed this month's rent, and have chatted with them on several occasions during the weekend. They invited me to dinner on Saturday night, but I had a birthday dinner for one of my coworkers, followed by a goodbye drink for a good friend who's moving back to Denmark. The landlady also invited me to Christmas even dinner, but I'll be in the States, but I think I can actually go to the New Year's event they're throwing! Today, I went down and talked to them for a while. I showed Jonathan, their 5 year old son, my new turtle (I'll get to her!) and we talked about Christmas, the improvement of my Spanish, and school. I'd say it's a big improvement! I've always been able to understand them, but my hesitance or difficulty in speaking made them uncomfortable and unsure about what I would understand. Which, in turn, made me even more nervous talking. Now, I think we'll both do better with communicating. Also, this week I should be getting new cabinets above my sink, which are full of termites and drop droppings all over the kitchen.

And...I have a pet turtle. She's a hatchling red-eyed slider, which aren't legal to sell in the States when they're smaller than 4 inches because of salmonella risk. Usually kids get it, because they aren't good at basic sanitation measures. I keep a bottle of purell next to the tank to help keep things from going poorly. She's currently still nameless, but considering one of my friends took 3 weeks to name her son, I figure my turtle can wait a little while. It's an important decision!

She's living in a small, shallow pool that's perfect for her current size, but as a water turtle, I'd like to give her something with more room to stretch her legs. Cathy, my boss, has a 10 gallon fish tank that she doesn't use anymore because every time the power goes out, one of her fish would die. She said I can borrow it. I haven't yet figured out what I will use to line the bottom--something heavy so I can build a land area, and something round and hard so it's easy to clean. I've started building a floating island for basking. It's made of Popsicle like sticks, which float on their own, but sink when something's on them, so I've fastened pumice stones to the corners (I got those in Belize). I don't have the tank yet, but I'd like to be ready when it gets here. 

Today I learned that, as well as her food pellets, she'll eat insects I drop in her tank.  When I first got her, I dropped an ant in to see if she'd hunt, but I guess she was still too uncomfortable to hunt.  I bought her a lamp for basking, and in the last few days she has started nap-basking during the day, which is good, healthy, and a sign of comfort.  She also jumped on the three small beetles I put in the tank after I found them in my beans.  I'll be careful because I read that hatchlings that eat shrimp sometimes choke on the shells.

I'm still welcoming name ideas.

David was in Copan!

It's official: my entire family has now come down to visit. Mom and Dad came over Christmas last year, James came for Easter, and David just left after his Thanksgiving visit.

We hit the beginning of his trip pretty hard and ended pretty light. Any day that I was working, I was able to get a wonderful breakfast over at the hotel.

I had school on Wednesday. So he just slept to recover from his travels. When I got home we went into town, walked around, saw a few things, and ate dinner. Thursday we wanted to go on the Canopy Tour, but it didn't pan out. Originally we thought we'd still be able to go in the afternoon, so we went to the bird park. I had my first “yeah, that's what happens when you hang out around a pissed off animal, even if you're not messing with it or even in it's vicinity—it can fly” experience when a bird flew at me, clung to my shirt, and clamped down on my arm. It was unexpected to say the least. When we found out that we would not be going to the Canopy Tour, we instead went to the ruins before they closed. All the English speaking guides were already out, but between my Spanish-ish and Cid's Spanish, we made it work. I was really excited at how much I understood for myself (sometimes even correcting details that Cid missed) but it was nice to have someone actually fluent to fill in the gaps. It was a wonderful way to spend Thanksgiving.

We were able to go on the Canopy Tour in the morning. Unfortunately for me, I made poor decisions the day before and regretted them for the rest of the night. Around 6 water became an option, and a wonderfully vital one, and by breakfast time at the hotel I was taking 30-45 minutes to eat my plate of fruit and just as long if not longer on the two plain waffles. It was all fine, as the problem was already taken care of, and most of the day's problems were simply to result of tiredness and dehydration.

Luckily, I'm better at mornings, so I was able to enjoy the tour and we just took the rest of the day easy, which was fine, because those two days combined had whipped us out.

Saturday we got up early and toured up to the pottery aldea of Llanitios. It was fun, and the guide was nice. Usually their tours are about 3 hours, but I asked for a special tour to a particular place where we then hung out, made and ate food, and chatted with Dona Lucas. We paid for the guide's food and David got some nick-nacks from her pottery wall. Then, we rode back down into town, thought the horses were rather tired by then.

Sunday was mass followed by hanging out and talking. We caught up and did a little bit of tourist shopping. We discussed the different experiences different cultures can bring to the church, but the sameness it can still retain.

Monday I went back to work, and I was in no mind to work, and the kids were in no mind to listen, and David came early in the day and all and all we were all off. We got through though, and then David and I played tourists in the shops (or I played and he embodied) and did his bit to help the local economy. I got an awesome new bag that carries my computer and all my school books and isn't my backpack. We had our last dinner, hung out for a little while, and went to bed early.

By 4:45 we were out in the morning. There were no taxis, so we walked down, with all the stuff, to the bus station. We were early, but that's fine. I waiting around until he loaded up and then walked back up the hill to finish getting ready for school. I then taught, a little more back to normal pace, had tutoring after school, walked into town for tutoring with Isaac, went to class where I talked about it all, and went home to have Sarah-is-alone time in my hammock, which is now up on my porch.

It's Time to Start Thinking Forward...

I've recently been coming to terms with the fact that my entire, for all intents and purposes, adult life has been here, in the mountains of Copan Ruinas, Honduras. Imagining my life in a year, is nearly impossible. It's so easy to imagine being a part of my old life in the States, but whatever life I go back to, it will not be my old life, and besides, it's really hard to imagine not being here. This place houses almost all of my independence.

On the other hand, I cannot imagine not being in Virginia. Despite moving to another country and living there for two years, the idea of moving to a foreign State is simply beyond me. I suppose that in part it is because I can't imagine leaving here for anything that isn't home. This place has become my home, so to give it up, it almost has to be so that I can return to the things and people I miss.

I have rolled around ideas, such as staying in Honduras, but at a school where I can further my other academic goals. Or leaving VA for other alternative certification programs. I've thought of looking for jobs at schools that don't really care if I'm already certified and would help me get there, but at the end of my thought process comes this:

Most of these alternative methods will only get me certified, and, eventually, I want my masters. Once I have my masters, my options will be pretty limitless, so I might as well buckle down and just get it done.

However, I need about a years worth of undergraduate credits in order to even get certified. I'm basically a career switcher, because the original plan was to go into Secondary Ed. Now, I'm lacking in a lot of the basics I need to be a primary teacher.

The programs I have talked to told me that I can get my undergraduate credits taken care of while I'm in the program, and I think I would if it was 3 classes. However, with as many as I need, I think I'm looking at a year of community college followed by about 2 years more of school.

Three more years. And then, where? William and Mary seems to make the most economical sense, but I simple can't move back home for three years. I'm going to have to find another way. Longwood also has a draw on me because it's already known. Anywhere in Virginia has the in-state advantage.

It's hard to imagine not going back, but it's also very difficult to go back to a world in which I have nothing. I'm like a child in the States. If I go to another State for school, I still have to build up from nothing. I have to create community all over again. Even in Virginia that will be true to a certain extent.

This is why I hate moving and I hate change. It's weird, because I came down here. But it was scary too. I want some kind of magic to bring me back to the States, but with a sturdy foundation already in place. That's simply not possible. What I have to keep telling myself is that I cling to the notion of home very hard, but where ever I go, that seems to be the home I'm clinging to.

Walking vs. Riding

On Monday, I had a bit of a premonition experience. I woke up, and refused to believe it was time to get up. I simply could not believe it was 5 o'clock. Granted, I'd been up more than an hour later than usual on Sunday night (I was up until 9:40!) but I still couldn't believe that the amount of rest I had gotten was the amount of rest I was going to have to trudge through with. Nope. Not possible. I was so convinced, that I came to the conclusion that my fancy-pants radio alarm clock, that is set to a time zone, had reset itself in the night to daylight savings time. My clock still thinks we're in the States. However, upon checking my phone and watch, I had to face that it was 5, or by not, 5:30, and time to get up.

This morning, I woke up to my alarm, and felt amazing. I had gone to bed at 8:30 and woke up to my alarm at 5. At 5, except the sun was already shining. At 5, except the street noises were too loud. At 5, except my alarm had reset itself a few days too late and it was really 6. 6, which means the bus would be leaving the bus stop, which is 3 minutes from my house, in about 4 minutes. No go.

I skipped some of my normal routine and got ready in 15 minutes and then did something I haven't done in weeks. Something I did every day last year, but have somehow avoided this year almost entirely. I say “somehow” but really, I mean that there's a new bus driver who come by at 6 and gets me to school by 6:15, which is the most bang for my buck. I still get there fairly early, but I have more time in the house, and in bed. When I miss the bus, I usually end up catching a ride with one of the Honduran staff members on their way to school.

But today, I walked. I forgot why I liked it so much. I still think I'll usually end up taking the bus, but I there are some things I need to remember to appreciate about my walk to school.

Being in Honduras, I find myself in a giant bubble, lacking in news, current events, and the culture that I will one day return to. This became obvious to me when I was home over the summer. After just one year, the day-to-day cultural references were completely out of my grasp. I can only imagine what it will be like after two years. However, by being a Mayatan teacher and a gringa, I'm in another bubble. I'm not really apart of the day-to-day happenings and culture here either. Most of the people I associate with are ex-pats, fellow teachers, or tourists. I do have Honduras friends, but I find that most of the time spent together is still not similar to the daily interactions I sometimes glimpse when I'm walking around town.

There are a variety of people who frequent my walk to school, in the opposite direction. When I walk regularly, I form a kind of 5-second-a-day relationship with them. But we recognize each other and when we see each other outside of our work, we are friendly. I like that relationship, but I do wish I was more outgoing, and more able to be closer to more locals. It's one of those things I've been working on.

When I walk, I have the opportunity to glimpse very small, but significant day-to-day interactions. I live a pampered life here. It's easy to get caught up in it. My house is comfortable, my shower is warm, I have a fridge, a stove, and a small oven. This is how my Honduran friends, most of them, live, but it is certainly not the norm.